Monday, April 18, 2005

Wheaton Wars, Episode III: Revenge of the Humorless Nerds

Every so often I like to throw up a reminder here at my blog of the brilliance which is Wil Wheaton dot Net. Here's another good excuse to do it again...

It all started when Wheaton read about these Star Wars losers who have already been in line for weeks in front of Graumans Theatre in Los Angeles, waiting for the opening of Episode III and raising money for charity in the meanwhile. Except that the movie's not showing at Graumans, it turns out, but at another theatre about half a mile away. But instead of packing up and moving to the right theatre, the Star Wars losers have decided to just remain camped out in front of Graumans, as some sort of self-styled protest against Graumans not showing the movie. Wheaton thought it was hilarious that not only were these geeks waiting for a movie in front of the wrong theatre, but also refused to go to the right one, much less that they were holding a "political protest" concerning a theatre not showing Star Wars. So, he wrote as much at an entry comment at And, it turns out, the Star Wars losers in line were not very happy about it.

Then, it turns out that there's a whole group of the Star Wars losers who do want to pack up and move to the right theatre, but they're being trumped right now by what they describe as the "popular" clique who are also in line, who are demanding that they stay at Graumans. And Wheaton thought it really hilarious that not only were these losers all waiting in front of the wrong theatre, but that there'd be a "popular" clique and an "unpopular" one within this group of losers. So he again posted an entry at saying as much. And the Star Wars losers in line got even angrier at him.

So then Wheaton tried to smooth things over between himself and the Star Wars losers, by designing and distributing t-shirts for them that says, "I lined up at the wrong theatre for Star Wars, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt." Which, needless to say, the Star Wars losers did not take kindly to at all. And then...

The story just keeps going on and on, and gets funnier and funnier with each new development. But don't take my word for it - go read it yourself, and just see if you can stop from peeing in your pants in laughter by the end. Danger, Wil Wheaton! Danger!